Soya Bean

Note: Nothing is good when it is taken excessively. So you can take soya but just don't take it every single meal.
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To Soya/Tofu lovers
Not my story. Got it from DFC XD
ONE WOMAN'S STORY ON SOYA...All Males-PLEASE pass this info to ALL your female friends... It may save their lives! Something to take note of.

This is my true story, nothing altered. These are facts, as they relate to my experience, my opinions based on what I have read and felt. I am relating them to warn other young health-conscious women who are unwittingly harming themselves.

In 1989, I graduated from high school in Texas and couldn't wait to hit the big college city. One of the changes I wanted to make was to eat healthier. Once I moved to health-conscious Austin , Texas , I began to fortify my body with the best and healthiest foods I could find.

Tofu was the main ingredient in every healthy dish and I bought soya milk almost every day used it for everything from cereal to smoothies or just to
drink for a quick snack. I bought soya muffins, miso soup with tofu, soybeans, soybean, sprouts, etc. All the literature in all the health and fitness
magazines said that soya protected you against everything from heart disease to breast cancer.

It was the magical isoflavones, the estrogen-like hormones that all worked to help you stay young and healthy. I looked great, I was working out all the time, but my menstrual cycle was off. At 20, I started taking birth control pills to regulate my menstrual cycle.

In addition to this I began to suffer from painful periods. I began to get puffy, it was as though I was losing my muscle tone. I began to suffer from
depression and getting hot flashes. I mistook all this for PMS since my periods were irregular. By the time I was 25, my periods were so bad, I couldn't walk. The birth control pills never made them regular or less painful so I decided to stop taking them.

I went on like this for another two years until I realized my pain wasn't normal. At 27, my gynecologist found two cysts in my uterus. Both were the
size of tennis balls. I went through surgery to have them removed and thank God they were benign. The gynecologist told me to go back on birth control pills. I didn't. In 1998, he discovered a lump in my breast. Again, I went through surgery and again it was benign. In November 2000 my glands swelled up and my gums became inflamed. Thinking I had a tooth infection I went to the dentist who told me that teeth were not the problem.

After a dose of antibiotics the swelling still did not go down. At this point I could feel a tiny nodule on the right side of my neck. I told my mother I had thyroid trouble. She thought I was being silly. No one in the family suffered from thyroid trouble. Going on a hunch I saw a specialist who diagnosed me with Papillary Thyroid Carcinoma. After a series of tests he told me it was cancer. My fiance and I sat stunned. We were not prepared and I was so scared. We scheduled surgery right away.

The specialist told us that it would only be after the operation that a pathologist would be able to tell us for sure if it was cancer. They found a
tumor at my right lobe composed of irregular cells and another smaller tumor growing on the left, so the entire thyroid was removed. They told me that after undergoing radioactive iodine I would be safe and assured me that I could live a long life.

After treatment I began to search for the cause of all these problems. I never once thought it could be all the soya I had consumed for nearly ten
years. After all, soya is healthy. I came upon a web page that linked thyroid problems to soya intake and the conspiracy of soya marketed as a by-product of the vegetable oil industry. This was insane, after all, the health and fitness magazines had said nothing about soya being harmful.

I visited a herbalist who was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 1985. She informed me that soya was the culprit. She had a hysterectomy due to cysts
and other uterine problems. A few months later another acquaintance who had consumed soya came down with thyroid cancer.

A girl in England I met through the Internet in a thyroid cancer forum had just undergone surgery and she was only 19. What was going on? Breast cancer is linked to estrogen. What mimics estrogen in the female body, SOYA!

But I never suspected soya because until now I never once found a single article that stated soya could be dangerous. Women who took soya prior to
thyroid problems will continue to take it after if they are not aware of what soya actually does, what it contains and how it reacts in the female body. I think this is the reason that women with thyroid cancer often develop breast cancer later.

My co-worker is big into soya and I see her losing hair and gaining weight despite a walking workout during her break and after work, and apples and
oranges for lunch. She just had cysts removed from her uterus too. I warned her to stay off soya. I referred her to websites but until it is on the evening news on all four networks, women will suffer. Since the thyroidectomy, I do not touch soya, haven't for two years.



Dear readers,

Please use my story in any way you can. There are so many young girls who are consuming soya because they think they are taking care of themselves,
and women taking soya because they want to be healthy. It is so unfair that the information about the dangers of soya isn't more widely circulated. It is sad.

There are many out there who feel this way and it is a terrible blow when you realize you are not as healthy as you thought and that the information
that you depended on was wrong.

Here are some references:


http://www.netlink.de/gen/Zeitung/2000/000813.html

http://www.biotech-info.net/soya.html

http://www.haelan.co.uk/Wholefood-Soya.shtml

PayPerPost (PPP) And Review My Post

Side Note: I saw a few guys with blonde hair and some with green highlights in Butterworth on Sunday. Scary. They are surely a bunch of daring kids. Dare to be different. So I shall not laugh at their hair anymore. Instead I will salute and respect them for their bravery while loving my own natural and virgin hair.
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I am sure many of you heard of PayPerPost or PPP in short. If you have not heard about it, read on. PPP is one way where you can earn money while blogging. When you sign up for PPP and log in to the website, you will be given a long list of opportunities where you can pick anything from the list that you would love to talk about. You can talk about handphones, some electronic stuff and many more. It is kind of an advertisement online and they need our view to help promote them. If both parties can get benefit from it then why not? I signed up and currently still looking for a suitable title to blog about.

There is guideline for you to follow and you will be paid if you post is accepted. You must blog in proper english, not too much profanity and extra research will earn you some extra tacks.


Things you must have to sign up for this PPP:-
- Computer (Go to cyber cafe also can)
- Internet Connection
- A blog (written in English)
- A paypal account
- A PPP account

and you can start earning money already. Blog about the topics stated and money will come flooding. Say goodbye to leg pains, muscle aches and long hours in office(for part timer only). If you still think that working in those places ensures stable income then say hello to extra income, more new clothes and more cash. Never say no to extra income. XD

Blogging is beneficial too you know? Now you've got an extra reason to blog. I shall go and browse more opportunities and bookmark them so that I can write about it when I am free. I do think that this is a good way to learn new things and to get updated with latest gadgets. At least now I make an effort to do research on things I never thought exist. I have no idea that W880i has released. Seriously.

click here to get to PPP website and learn more about it there.
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Besides that, you can also earn money when your friends review your post. You can review theirs too and get money just the same. Both you and your friend will earn money when a review is done. You can get $7.50 per review. However, they must also sign up to this PPP first. You can put the review my post icon under each and every of your posting and you can get money once they review your posting. Even those that is not sponsored by PPP meaning your daily ramblings and things that are not related to anyone but you and your circle of friends. Isn't that amazing. Definately worth all the time and trouble I had while signing up. I am kind of blur when it comes to signing up for things. But I am a very optimistic person and I hope I can learn a lot through this. Heh. You can even set the template so that every single time you make a new posting, the icon will be attached to your posting.

To set this in blogspot:-
Go Customize => Settings => Formatting => and then paste the code provided in Review My Post and the next time you want to blog, the icon will appear in the box already. Just enter a few times and type above the icons. Have fun earning money. XD

ps: The greedy me goes back to some of my favourite postings to put this icon up. Please review it when you are free. Talk bout anything on that particular topic alright?Hope to hear your side of story soon.

Take For Granted.

Isn't that what almost everyone does every single day? How many of you actually feel happy and grateful when your mum wakes you up every morning? I only feel grateful on Teachers' Day, Children's Day, Canteen Day or days when I know that there will not be lessons. Other than that, I usually show her my muka masam and unwillingly dragged myself to the toilet. When I am really tired or lazy, I would even raise my voice a little cause I find it annoying. I am a bad girl I know. I am bad tempered but I cool down real easy. We take things for granted and regretted it when it is gone. Most people won't learn to appreciate until they lose something and after some time, they go back to their ignorant lifestyle.

I am definately not the only one who is not grateful. I do have friends who take me for granted as well. Coming to me when needs me and just leave when I am of no use. Sometimes I hate myself for helping but I just don't know how to say no. It seems so mean and selfish to say no and I ended up utter the Y word for God knows what reason. And I feel stupid for days and when I finally felt better, that very friend will come and ask for help again. That means endless feeling of stupidity haunting me. Some even ask me to pinjam them money and never bother to return me not even one cent. I have learned to be smarter and say no when it comes to money. Close friends can go up to RM50 as long as I believe them and normal friends only up to RM1. More than that, I am sorry, I have no money. I shall curse the people who take my money and totally forgot 'bout it. May you be poor for the rest of your life for cheating my money. These people should really be burned alive or something like that. Diana, go burn them for me XD

I, myself is a very very ungrateful girl who takes everything for granted. I took my family for granted, I took the cat who eats up all the lizards for granted, I took my handphone for granted, I took my time for granted. I never really sit down and appreciate those things around me, those people who loves me. I am usually mourning over those things that is not turning out well in my life. I mourn over my studies, my life, my social life, my everything. But I never really thank God for another day of living to make everything better. I rarely see the good side of people and only remember the bad things they once did to me. I never really thank my eldest sis for all the love I got since I was a small girl. I never thank her for my new school bag, my CNY clothings, my watch, my necklace and lots of other things. I keep having the feeling that both of us have lack of communications and lack of time being together. I shall from now on treasure the times we spend together and quarrel with her less *Terms and Conditions Applied* Heh. Better put this up just in case I became really bad girl. I never appreciate my second sis until she left for studies in overseas. I used to quarrel with her all the time and still does at times. But I am trying to control myself. I even quarrel with my mum all the time. Yes, I am a universal naughty girl cause I find fault with everyone in the family.

We should all learn to appreciate, learn to respect and learn to be grateful to those who really stand by us when we need someone to lean on and someone to believe in.

Tagged By Wei Wei

a simple short tag from Wei Wei

1) Who is the first blogger you meet?
Confirm is Pao Pao la.. Because she is my sister leh. I born time she is there to see me d.

2) Who is the ‘Most wanted to meet blogger?’ for you?
Kenny Sia is really funny. It would be nice if I can meet him. But of course the most wanted to meet one is Pao Pao, my sister. She is back in NZ now. Hope to see her soon. XD

3) Who is the ‘I can meet, want to meet but somehow never got to meet’ blogger?
There's none actually. I met most of the bloggers in my list. They are mostly my friends leh.

4) Who are the group of bloggers you most wanted to meet?
Surely my buddies lar. Sisters and buddies. And those friends who left to study overseas.

5) Do you have any bloggers/blog readers that you wish to meet right now?
That would again be my sister and these questions are very boring. It is the same again and again. =(

i'm gonna tag :
Can I not tag? Unless if you really wanna force me then Pao, Ngiap Ai , Yu Jean. These three lar. Hope you guys can make this tag a more entertaining one.

The Party

Had a BBQ party with friends on Wednesday,21st of February as the CNY celebration. Had so much fun catching up with Diana, cooking those yummy meatballs,sausages,chickens and stuff. And had so much fun playing with water balloon. Water balloon shall be one of the games in our future party. So much fun. And of course so much fun throwing people into the pool, playing "Pop Pop" and also getting wet *well,not really*. So much fun playing water balloons. You can give me the whole night and I will still say the same. So much fun throwing the water balloons. I love water balloons. <3

Spoilers

Dedicated to Pao. "It's of What Women Wants. Don't scroll down if you refuse to read it okay?"
















Charles' new dream is to be a king. So that he gets someone to escort him all the time. And Hafiz was so excited when he saw police excorting them and the road ahead was empty. And they are going to Tioman. Then their 1st task is a quiz. Lol. Hafiz won and he escaped from riding a donkey. A winner for the contest get to meet them and she went on the dates with them. Charles was a little bit cute but still as kayu as ever and he even tried to catch biawak for that girl. He was kinda kayu by the time its for the romantic dinner.

Hafiz pula. I like him. He made me smile a lot. So cute. His part is really worth watching. I would definately want a boyfriend like Hafiz. So muscular=security, so kind=loving, so caring=prihatin, and small small things he does make girls smile. So HAFIZ!! U better win. XD

Love is

-when your sister gives you a tight hug just before she left
-when your mum gan cheong with you every morning because you are late for school. AGAIN!
-when your sister sends you to your friends house for some party and even fetch you back.
-when your sister drives you back from school every single day under hot sun.
-when your uncle drives you to tuition every week without fail.
-when your uncle buys you fruit because he knows you love them
-when your uncle says that you are smart although at times those things were just some normal thing. Just to motivate you and make you feel better.
-when tears fall down whenever you think of your loved ones who will never ever return.
-when the 1st thing that comes to your mind whenever you accomplished something is that "my uncle would be so proud and would say I am smart again"
-when your mum scolds you when you wake up late because she doesn't want you to get demerit
-when your mum follows you to some "stanger gathering" for she doesn't know anyone there.
-when your mum fetches you everywhere
-when your aunt bring you to lou yee sang although that means they have to wait till you finishes school
-when your grandma heat up the soup for you as soon as you say you wanna have your dinner already
-when your mum knows what you eat and what you don't
-when your aunt willingly fetch you
-when your aunt buy you things and pamper you
-when your aunt allow you to wear her shoe when you can't find others
-when you hang out with your highschool friends and still have the best time of your life.
-when your sister brings you shopping with her boyfriend *lamp post XD*
-when your sister treats you without thinking of how much she has to spend on you
-when your mum endlessly ask you if you need any money
-when your mum cook for you every day
-when you get hugs and kisses from your mum and sisters
-when your sisters joked and play with you
-when your friends show their concern to you
-when your friends never ignore your existence
-when your friends try to listen to you for you talk too much
-when you get morning smiles from your friends
-when you get greetings on special occasions from friends you don't usually talk to
-when you get dedications from your sister's blog
-when everyone were just as anxious as you were when you were taking the driving exam
-when you friends help you in studies
-when you wake up with messages from your buddies on your phone
-when you watch the fireworks with people who matter most to you
-when you talk to your primary school friend and still can feel connected to her
-when you still feel close to friends you don't meet that often anymore
-when you feel comfortable being with your highschool cliques
-when you are surrounded with angels called family and friends

And lastly, love is when you feel blessed and have teary eyes while typing/reading this post.

Love is not something big that someone does. Its the small things people do each day that show us that we are being loved. Different people may have different view on love. I love to have a life like this. I rather be loved this way than any other way that can possibly happen. At times I wish time like these will never end. But life is not a bed of roses and I shall treasure every single moment I have with them for they are the love of my life, now and forever.

Life Resumes

Pao is gone. No one to wake me up early in the morning, calling me ah gu loud loud and sing to me.
No one to disturb me, to bring me out for shopping, to fetch me home, to curi my food, to buy me things and treat me to expensive restaurants all the time anymore. Every year, at this time, when she has to go back, although it is for just another 9 months, it still makes me sad. Probably because no one to pamper me or to make me angry for 9 months. Long enough to give birth to a cute baby girl. *cuz I like girls.* XD

I bet she'll claim that she has jet lag and sleep a lot. She does that all the time. Every year. Last year, she even skipped class because she was having jet lag or in another words, she can't wake up. Lazy bum. Hopefully end of this year I can go and find her and we will have the time of our life.

What I Miss Bout Her?
1. Her irritating voice
2. Her singing
3. Her hugs
4. Her random kisses
5. Her treat to expensive restaurants
6. Her fetching me back from school
7. Her snatching computer with me *not very*
8. Her presents
9. The way she pampers me with gifts
10. The endless shopping trip with her.
11. The singing in the car session
12. The redbox session
13. The camwhore session
14. The Wednesday and Thursday pasar malam session
15. The Thursday What Women Want session
16. The market session with chim and her.
17. The baking session
18. The grocery shopping session
19. The DVD session
20. The CNY cloth hunting session
21. The chit chatting in the car session
22. The mercedes experience
23. The wedding dinner experience

In fact there are many more and I just realize that I miss her more that I thought I would. Pao I miss you and see you soon. We shall study hard. You for your final year and me for my STPM. I love you Pao and although you always disturb me, I still love you to bits. Miss you already. See you soon hunny bunny. XD You're my honey bun sugar plum, umpie umpie umpkin,you're my sweetie pie, you're my .... the apple of my eye XD

Note: Last year she left on the 21st of February also. I love Pao

Chinese New Year

is full of activities. Yesterday I went to Penang Hokkien Gathering . Had so much fun talking to Kim Mo, Ang Ku Kueh and Ah Tox Kia. The rest too are fun. But I find Ah Tox Kia aka Boh Tien very cute. He likes to talk and he always take pic of Kim Mo. I had fun and I think mum is a little bored but it'll b fine. She'll be fine. Then Ah Win came and we had a super photo session with Ice Ice Baby's dollies. XD

Today, I am sending Pao off to airport *not I drive lar duh.* Then I am going to Queens for a while to get something for Ah Phung Chi and then going to JY's place for BBQ!!! Its gonna be so much fun with more camwhore session. It's just fun to hang out with emmoes. Diana is going too and I am loving that idea. Too bad SL can't go as she is working and Jen don't know got transport or not. If not there'll be like triple fun. And I have yet to invite YL. I think she is not coming anymore. =( My bad. Hope to have loads of fun with emmoes today. I love them. I love bentengs too ok? Having a mini CNY celebration with them tomorrow in school. With some benteng members missing cause apparently they live in Sarawak kut. Need a longer time to get their ass back in school tomorrow. XD But a girl has to do what a girl has to do which is to have that CNY celebration going though some won't be around. I just love what I do now.

Note: It is not that I don't wanna update the previous post. But I can't get the picture yet. Wait till I got the picture. Then I'll update. XD

Blessing In Disguise

Its about the whole party delayed thing. Will update tomorrow if possible. Now going to Bai Nian again. But I am not smelling much ang pow coming my way lo. =( Nvm. Be happy. And I lost bout Rm2something in gambling yesterday night. How sad. T.T

1st Day Of Chinese New Year

is ruined. Well, half ruined at least up to this point. We were suppose to have a party at my aunt's place and it was scheduled to start at 7.00 pm. And here I am, typing away at 5.00 pm without having any preparation done. We have yet to start cooking or even washing the vegetables. This is because my aunt was suppose to be at home so that we can go to her place and start cooking. But it seems like she is not likely to be home any time soon cause she is still at her husband's place. At times I really cannot tolerate this kind of attitude. For me, if you can't do it, then don't ever promise. And as I've said, I very problematic one. If she don't promise, I suppose this kind of angry post will still come out. So yea, just ignore me. But I hate it when people promise me something and then failed to do it and still doesn't think it's their fault. I mean why do you have to come and ruin my mood like that? I am very easily distracted and I get upset real easy. You can make me happy real easy too. That's why one small tiny whiny problem will make me sad and moody all day long.

It's already 5 something and we invited our guest and they are expected to reach around 7.30 to 8.00. How can we finish cooking those chickens,nuggets,fried mee,pasta,jelly,fish fingers and etc in just 2 and a half hours? And she is not coming back anytime soon either. What a spoiler for 1sr day of CNY. I hate people spoiling my plans. That is how I became a dictator I think. I hate to have group work. I hate to ask people to do things especially when they have that I-don't-want-to-do-it face on them. It makes me sick and I hate to persuade people to do something. You want to do it, you do it. If not, I'll do it and I'll make sure your name is not in it. That's it. I can do it myself and I don't need your beautiful name there. I prefer individual work and I hate to depend on people to get things done. Its more frustrating to expect their work than to do it myself. Seriously.

After many different occasions, I began to stop believing others too. I don't trust people and I don't believe in lame lovey dovey words like forever,everything and only one. Forever,only one and everything doesn't exist. These words won't do the trick. At least not to me. I don't believe in them and I hate it when people try to make me believe in them. Just leave me alone would ya? I don't trust people and I don't believe in forever. So just go and fly kite and leave me alone.

A post out of depression. Because I did not take my lunch and I thought I can have fun today since I had kind of sucky reunion yesterday. What is happening? Why is CNY 2007 so sucky? =( Even television has nothing to entertain me.

Happy Chinese New Year II

Happy Chinese New Year to all my friends! How was your reunion dinner? Mine was late. We went to our aunt's house at 9 something and apparently everyone left already and we took the dinner on our own only. After eating, we left for Tesco to get stuff for the small family party the next day. Met Cici there and smiled to her. Then continue shopping.

I am not gonna bore you guys by mentioning what I bought. Unless of course if you want to know =P Moving on,I find the youngsters*not to say that I am old* nowadays very daring lor. I seem to see teens with many many daring colours on their head. For instance, I saw a guy with green hair the other day at Prangin. Then I saw another boy with purple hair at Tesco today and a woman with pink hair in Gurney last Thursday. What's up with the colours? Why green, purple and pink? And seriously, they dare to try on things on their head. They get lots of attention too. And I also met many people with fashion disaster *or so by my sis*. Some come with super not matching colours and some just make people go dizzy. Green, yellow and blue makes people feel a little sick isn't it? Well, at least for me.

Alrite. Time for bed. Tired already.Nights.

CNY Eve

is full of dust. As usual, my family will clean the house until the day before CNY. Most probably cause whenever they have time,they would be busy going out shopping for CNY clothings and thus don't have time to clean the house. If they are not free, they would be working and no one would bother to clean the house. Furthermore,if we clean the house much earlier, it'll be dirty too by CNY. So yes, right now we are cleaning our house and I thought after I finished my area which is my table,my cupboard and my computer table,I'm free to online and blog as long as I want to. But no. Mummy just asked me to help her and I said DON'T WANT!! Well, I guess you will know what happened after that. Had a 'good chat' with her and I am going to help her now. XD

*blushes*

Happy Chinese New Year

NOTE: That 'wonderful friend' of mine just asked me to help his friend to buy callertunes. Seriously,charges need to be imposed already. I am losing my patient but as I am too tired to argue,I agreed. Maybe I don't want to start my year with a bad feeling I guess. Sorry to all my friends if I have been moody, grumpy and a bit bad tempered. I need time to cool down and the hot weather is not helping much. And my grandma actually knows where is Scotland Road. I just found out the name of the road today and I think I will forget it in just matter of days. Ah Ma hou yeh!!! And I just helped her to dye her hair. Ah Ma oso vain. XD

Finally its holiday!! Today was the worst day in the week. I was so sleepy, tired, hot and exhausted. And to have my P.A test was the worst idea of all. I kinda fall asleep for like 10seconds while doing my pie chart. Then Maths sir came in and another two periods of boring subject. Jas Lyn did make my laugh though. She thought my sir said Happy New Year and she started packing but my sir was actually saying continue here. It was funny. Then the bell rang and I felt relieved! Holiday mood is just rising and I ended up waiting for my sis till 2pm. However, I was shock to find out that their car was knocked by another "P" driver. Trust me, that "P" driver has serious attitude problem and I don't think I like him or his girlfriend. He was rude to his father and that girl was brainless enough to expect him to bring her somewhere when he has to settle his accident things.

Anyway, my purpose here today is not to talk bout some lame budak who don't appreciate the father. I am here to talk bout one of my favourite past time when its Chinese New Year. I love to watch the advertisement. In fact all celebration season's advertisement are very meaningful and nice. Here is one of the best that I like..



ps: It is in hokkien. Good way to polish ur hokkien huh?

I'll never want my mother to end up like the other aunties though. Love and care will top to all those money that we can earn. We can earn less but we must not love less. Happy Chinese New Year to everyone. May u enjoy real homecooked food and have a wonderful Chinese New Year.

My Love Cupid

is nowhere to be seen. Hehe. Yes. My love cupid got lost or something i guess. Or perhaps another love cupid accidentally struck mine and she needs to be hospitalized or something. So yea, a valentine-less year this year. =) Anyway, so fast, one year has passed. I still remember how I was sitting at home doing nothing *well,its like a routine already =P * and just pass this day just like any other day. Today was nothing much different either. I went to school, drowsy as usual and then off school!!! Then my friends came to visit and we took a few pics.. Then its time to go to the field. We ran 400,100, lompat jauh and lontar peluru. I manage to get 2 marks out of 8 . XD

Then my mum fetch me to get some ribbons for my hair. I love them and maybe I will go to get some more tomorrow. Probably will ask my aunt to bring me. Then it'll be free again and I can have different colours to match my clothes. Isn't it cool? I fell in love with ribbons and tying my hair. I don't know why. Anyway, talking about my love cupid, my friend asked me a few questions about love. Apparently, she was quite impressed and shock when she heard my answer to my teacher's question which is about my husband and his affair. I told her that I will choose to befriend the secretary because we should always keep our enemies close. That is what I learnt from my sister and I really do see point to it. It's always better to go the soft and unexpected way isn't it? We can also keep our image clean.

Adakah patut? Cheng Ling said she was shock that I actually sounded wise. She never expect me to be wise as I am always gila-gila and laughing for some lame reason in class all the time. So she started pouring lots of 'what if' questions to me. The first one was about what if she has a best friend and a boyfriend and her best friend and boyfriend fall for each other. Should she give them her blessing and let go? For me, it is almost impossible to let go and act like you are very generous. Firstly, its because when you still have a feeling to your boyfriend, it is really hard to let go and even worst, to see him with your best friend. Furthermore, if your boyfriend and best friend really cares for you, they will not be together right after you let go. If they can be together even if they know deep down inside, you hurt very badly, they are not true to you. But well, Ah Shan told me what if they don't know? Well, I would say that they will be dumb not to know that someone would hurt because of their action and I am sure friends will try to control their feelings if they really care for you. If I were that friend, I will not accept that guy at all. Firstly its because I won't want to hurt my friend and secondly, if that guy can fall for me while he is with my friend, how sure am I that he won't do the same to me? Well, I do think I can do that though. I mean leave that guy so that he will be happier cause I find it rather ridiculous to hang on his body but not his heart. Perhaps I will suffer, perhaps he would to. But after 1 month or 2 months or 1 year, time will heal the wound and we can still be friends. Some people will think, why do that when we know that both parties will be suffering. To me, these sufferings is just a short term one. Furthermore, its best to leave when we still don't hate each other. I would not want to hang on until one day, he started to hate me or vice versa. I want to keep that beautiful memories in me forever. Some may think that I am very stupid but that's how I feel and think.

Wow. Just one question done? Let me talk bout the second question from Ah Shan. She ask me what if my friend and I like the same guy and my friend started to hasut that guy and talk bad bout me. Firstly, I should kill myself for being so blind to still think of her as a friend (literally). Secondly, I would think that the boy would be rather stupid to believe her as he should get to know me through me and not some lame friend who talks bad bout me. I mean isn't it weird that one friend is telling another guy how horrible her friend is? Common sense would tell you that SOMETHING IS WRONG SOMEWHERE. Furthermore, he should not only listen to one person. He should get to know me from other people, understand me himself and also, love me for me. If he choose my friend because of some lame hasuts, I should kill myself again for liking him at the first place. After that, just move on. =P

Besides that, Ah Shan also asked what if I fall for my friend's boyfriend? I would say that I will just tell myself its just a crush and he is not available. Like there is no other guy in the whole wide ugly world? Furthermore, friend's boyfriend is a total no-no. Like I can't take coconut and I don't crave for them cause I know its wrong to eat them. The same goes to guys. If I know it is wrong, I won't feel like wanting him anymore. Plus, it is just a tepuk sebelah tangan relationship.
Just leave that happy couple alone would ya?

Cheng Ling pula ask me which one would I choose? Option A, a guy who is much older than I am(5-10 years older), option B, a guy who is younger than I 'bout a year or two and option C, a guy who is my age or a year or two older. My answer is........ A no doubt. At least for now. I used to think guys who are 4 years older are OLD. That was when I was 16 years old. Then when I am 17 or 18, I realized, 4 years isn't that bad. I won't mind the age as long as we love each other, we are not hurting anyone in the process, he loves me a lot, and we lead a healthy relationship. Who cares if he is like 26 or 28? I would say that all three options are not a problem in a healthy relationship. However, I would prefer option A. I seem to believe and think that guys who are our age or a year or two older tend to be a little bit childish. Not to say all and not to say that I am not childish but I do see many couples suffering cause their boyfriend play too much. Please don't ask me to define play and don't be angry for my statement. That is just my thoughts. In addition to them being more matured, they would know how to treat their girlfriend better and they would probably takes care of the girlfriend better. This is again a very subjective matter so yes, that is my conservative thoughts. So don't question my choice, please.

That's all for tonight. I am rather tired and happy valentines day to everyone. Love you guys a lot *my friends*

The Difference Between Wonderful Friends and "Wonderful Friends"

Yesterday, after the cookout competition in school, I went out with my close friends. A friend of mine whom I once always cari pasal with her came to fetch me and Win. Don't ask me what happened. We were young, rebellious and damn stubborn. At least I was. Anyway she fetched us and I was pratically talking throughout the whole journey. Mind you, I am really born to talk. Some people may find me rather irritating and annoying. But I just can't help myself. What can I do? So back to the shopping part. We reached there and then meet up with other friends. Although there is a slight discomfort due to a sacarstic remark from one of the friend there, I manage to keep my heads up and stay cool. I am not gonna burst because of some stupid remark, will I? I guess she still can't accept my nature of being talkative. Like I care. I just wanna remain okay-friends with someone who can't accept me for me. Some of my friends were hungry so we proceeded to Wong Kok for lunch. Gee Kin came and join us.So we walked in queens for sometime and decided to give SL a visit. She works in S-Vogue. Her hair is much nicer now and she looks like a puppy. Hehe. Whoever with permed hair looks like a puppy to me. Especially if she got a small face.

After that we hang around longer, shopping for CNY clothings and then we go to MCD for some snack. That was our dinner. We took some lawak photos in Queens with the assistance of June's bf. He was a lil grumpy but fun towards the end. After that, Win and I followed HS's car while the rest went into LL's car. We didn't know June and BH was following LL. If we knew bout it, We would definitely bring Yuh Jen with us. Before that, HS, Win and I went to see some fashion show by MOTIVI and we saw PARIS AIS PHILLIPS!! then we went to the seaside and take loads of pictures. Really a lot!! Had so much fun and my legs are aching. But I had fun and that's what matters isn't it?

Nothing can beat crazy moments with highschool friends. I love emmoes cuz we can have fun just about anywhere. Well, almost all. I love Win cuz she can endure my laugh a lot and talk a lot nature. June and Win can actually teman me to do those. While Jen and HS are rather quiet but still very fun to mix around. They are stylish and although I've had my fair share of problems with HS, I still enjoy having her around. No one is perfect, so am I. Whereas for Diana, she is my serious topic partner and also gossip partner. SL is always the quieter one but she can be crazy too at times. I enjoy her company. LL is a super daring driver and I really need to learn driving from her. I never thought she has that much courage. YL is rather gila now compared to last time and I love her. Angeline is my paling lama one friend, no matter how old we became, I am sure we can still hang out. Ju-Yen on the other hand is my gila artiste partner. We often saw each other chasing artiste. Although I admit there's still slight awkwardness between us, we still can act like nothing happened and talk to each other. I guess I should learn to let go those bad moments. Friendship is full of ups and down. So is life isn't it?

NOTE : To see the difference between wonderful friends and "wonderful friends", read the previous post bout Aren't 'Friends' Wonderful? . My conclusion is, wonderful friends makes you happy and "wonderful friends" makes you sick. Wonderful friends do not use you while its not the case with "wonderful friends"

Aren't 'friends' wonderful?

Friends are suppose to be wonderful aren't they? I mean not all friends are perfect, make that no one. No one is perfect and I am not looking for a perfect friend. But at least give me a friend who respects me as a person and not as a device or computer that is there to help you to do things. I hate the feeling of being taken for granted and treated like maid or something. And don't come acting cute to me. I hate that. The scenario is like this :- One friend asked for my help. I stopped talking to him for a few months and suddenly, he messaged me and ask me to check for him why his callertunes not working. Its the way he approached me that made me feel a little bit used.

He just send a message that goes " Can help me check why my callertunes not working?"

After months of not keeping in contact, isn't it a little rude to ask just like that without a single hie? Of course, being a very fussy and this-wrong-that-wrong type of person as I am, nothing he does will make up to it because if he starts beating around the bush with other things before asking for my help, I will think of him just the same. So yea, nothing really works to me. Haha.. Anyway, after checking that everything will be fine, he asked me to buy callertunes. I was tired and asked him to wait till today. So yea, I did for him and I ended up doing for his friend too which I think was rather out of my duty because I know nuts 'bout the friend. And again, being the kind person as I am, I agreed and help. Seriously, deep down inside, I am very angry and is planning to charge him. But no, of course I didn't do that. Friends don't kira-kira one. That is of course if he is still my friend. Since I have enough things on my head to think about already, I shall forget bout this and continue to do my certs which if I can't print at home,still manage to go to my aunt's house to do it. Shall continue throwing my fire all over here when I am free. A busy person don't even have time to actually throw their anger. No wonder so many people busy until they go cuckoo. Lol.

Wonders Of The World.

Note: We should respect people the way we want them to respect us and never ever treat people like some useless crap. On the second thought, someone is treating me like that and I began to lose the faith and reason to still be his friend. But I can't say no when he ask for my help. Mind you, he only comes to me when he needs me to help him and let me tell you. That feeling sucks and I can't do anything bout it. Call me silly but I do it because I hate to turn people down. Not because of anything else that you might think of.

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Well..Most of the wonders of the world are those that make the world proud like the 7 wonders of the world.. Make that 8 including me. =P However, the wonders of the world that I want to talk about is not something that make us proud. Those wonders of the world that I am talking about is the beggars and the syndicate behind it. I went Farlim Pasar Malam last night to just shop around and wash my eyes. Shopping is suppose to be an activity whereby we enjoy every single minute and second of it, even if we don't get anything. But why do some people just have to ruin it? There were 3 beggars,crawling and practically doing some "commander-crawl" on the floor and "kao tao-ing" to people so that people will give them some money. The "wonderful" part to this is that they actually have the exact same pose,same way of asking money and they appear at the same area, at the same time. Coincidence? No? I don't think so. They can actually be at the night market site although they can't walk (well,I did mention they crawl right?) and there's lots of drain everywhere. How can someone who can't walk cross those drains and roads? Don't give me bullshit ideas like they can crawl all the way there or passers-by help them. I don't buy that. I believe there is a syndicate behind all these and they amputate these people so that they can get donations from other people.

Some people say that even the amputation are fake. I chose to believe that they are real and these unfortunate people are being abused or exploited to work for these cruel creature. The floor were full of dust,rubbish, and worst still, rocks. How can they treat a human like that? Even by walking there, I got my whole feet dirty with the dust. How can you want them to smell those dust? Is it right to do so? Isn't it against the law? Why aren't the police do something 'bout it? What are those people doing? I am sure someone would have seen who brought these people to the site. Surely someone witness this whole incident. Why aren't we doing anything to help them? Isn't it one of the wonders of the world? We may help many people but why aren't we doing something to stop these beggars? We can provide them shelter,provide them food. We can contribute to let them have a proper place to stay. Not giving them RM1 or RM2. Even if you give them RM100, you are not helping them. You are just letting those syndicate knows that they are making profit and more innocent lives will be harmed. I am so depressed 'bout this. Furthermore, Xu Wei Lun's funeral is today and I suddenly feel that life is so fragile. Anytime might be my time. There's still so many things I wish to achieve, so many things I want to do. In addition to that, Cheng Ling was talking about Armageddon and I feel that I don't want to leave just yet. I know these has not been on my mind for a long time and yes, it disturbs me and it makes me feel sad and down. That is why ah win keep complaining that I am not as cheerful as I was the past few days.

Apart from that, I can't believe Christian is out. My sisters and I believe that he lied to let Hafiz continue with the journey. We love him and yes, I love guys who are cute,funny and kind-hearted. Not some handsome ang mo kau who can't speak english properly or some arabian-face looking guy who is handsome and nothing else. So Christian, I still like you. XD

Death

How do you handle deaths? I used to be rather ignorant. I don't really know how it feels to lose someone u love until I was in form3. My aunt passed away and I cried like nobody's business. After that, I began to lose the feel. When my uncle pass away last year-September, I cried once and that's it. I didn't know why I did not cry. At times when I think of him, I will shed a tear. But I don't know why. Although I know that he is gone forever, it still feels like he is just resting at home. Am I denying the fact that he is gone or is it that I have accepted his death? This is just the same as Xu Wei Lun's death. The pretty actress who died of an accident. I just can't seem to believe it and still hoping that these are just lies. Just a movie, just a dream. Even if I have to retake my blardy driving again, I wish I could turn back time. I wish they will survive through it. I just wish they are not gone. =(

One year changes everything..

One year... Everything changes in just one year... Remember how we used to go around wishing our close friends happy birthday?? Remember how we used to spend our free periods making cards or signing on handmade cards?? Remember how we unsuccessfully tried to hide the presents and wanting to keep our friends in suspense? I can still remember how 'Emmoes' celebrated my 17 year old birthday for me. It was a Thursday I think. I was feeling rather down as no one actually remembered or wished me happy birthday. Being the ego person as I mentioned in the previous post, I did not ask them why or whether they still remember my birthday but deep down inside, I was rather uneasy thinking that they actually forgot my birthday. *I remember all of their birthday, trust me*

So the whole day was rather dull and nothing much happened.. Some not so close friends wished me while 'Emmoes' just buat bodoh. When the clock strikes 2.30 p.m, it's finally time to go back. I had physics extra class with Mr. Sa'adan or was it Chemistry class with Mr. Khoo? I can't remember that clearly. But I remember how they were waiting for me outside of my class with a bag in their hand and I saw Angeline walking to us. I was wondering what is that budak doing at that time because she should be at home now. Then i realize that they actually bought me gifts and they hid it from me. They did a superb job because I did not suspect them one bit. Okay, mayb a tiny lil bit but since there were no action, I casually ignore them. I love the teddie they gave me and it is a lil dirty now that I hug it to bed almost every night. Call me childish, call me silly, but teddies are one of the most precious collection I have and I don't have like 50-100 of them. Just 20 of them makes me happy. =)

Okay.. Back to the topic. At this time of the year, what will we see? We will see people selling pots of lime tree, pots of flowers. We will see people going everywhere looking for Chinese New Year clothing. We will see Chinese everywhere, even at the markets. Pasar malam or night market will be more pack than it has ever been. The stalls will be opened till 12 midnight and you will see 'people mountain people sea' there. You will see cookies being sold, Chinese New Year decoration everywhere. Cheong sam, red stuff everywhere. You can even smell the fragrant from the cookies that your neighbour makes *my neighbour makes me drool a lot*

In school, you will see students discussing bout what they bought for the celebration, you will see people planning on what to do during the festive season and last but not least, you will see pink envolope everywhere. PINK ENVOLOPE ! Those were the days when friends start giving you those pink envolope with greeting cards inside and no matter how stingy you were, you had to get some cheap cards to pass around too. At least to those who gave you. Some will pen down really thoughtful words and you will know that you are important because she gave that card to you. Some will just write

To, Ping Ping

(WHATEVER WORDINGS THE CARD HAS THAT ARE READILY PRINTED)

by, whoever

These will be the commercialize cards. Meaning they will buy in like dozens and send to everyone. Well almost everyone. I still feel that she is being thoughtful to give it to me but well, its rather not personal isn't it?? So I was saying that today, when WY passed the card to JL, I suddenly realized, HOW COME I DIDN'T BUY ANY CARD??? Just one year. 2006 when i don't celebrate that season with friends, I totally forgot bout it. But hey, why should we get a card when we can send it online? It's free and it's very environmental-friendly. So send an e-card today.. =) Wan Mei sure loves this line. Lol.

ps: yes, I can be distracted pretty easily. I beat around the bush and I think Miss Yeoh is not very happy with that. XD

Egotism kills...

I am sure many of us will agree that guys are very ego and they just sometimes won't give in to anyone so as to keep their pride *jaga air muka*. But hey, that doesn't happen to guys only. I too have that ego thingie deep inside me. Have you ever blurted out hurtful things that you never meant it to someone when he/she says something bad to you? For example, girl A says she hates you and you replied without thinking twice that you don't like her that much either although deep inside your heart, you once took her as your best pal. That is what ego people do to keep their face. Well, that's actually what I do. I don't know when or what or why I do that but that's what I do all the time. I know I hurt a few people once but hey, they actually did it to me 1st. So no guilt in me. Okay, perhaps a tiny whiny bit. XD

Even if I really really really like something, I will say I don't and lie to everyone including myself. At times I hate that nature of mine but I just do it all the time. No second thoughts. It's kind of spontaneous act. Because of my ego nature, I find some girls who plead and beg to be with the boyfriend back after quarrelling a bit not right. I personally will say yes if the boyfriend wants a break up even though that is not what I want and I will just act like I am okay with it. I mean I understand that everything else doesn't matter when you fall in love. But I thought begging and pleading is the guys' job. Of course you can ask for forgiveness if and only if the love is still there. The guy must still be in love with you then it is alright to plead and beg. But if the guy already say that he is over you, is it still okay to ask to get back with him? To me, it is not. Guys can anytime do the pleading because it shows that they are loyal. But girls? It shows that we are dependent, useless freak. Discrimination? Yes. But that's what everybody thinks. No? Worst still, I can still let the other person know that it is perfectly okay and no one should feel bad for the way the things turned out to be. Lol. I can be the not-useless-freak but I am a total freak on my own. XD

I can let go of something very dear to me just to show that particular person that "hey, I can do this on my own. I don't need anyone to live on." However, these things at times bring me to a slight depression because I do need my friends,my family and everyone I care to be with me. I need supports and love. Why do I push people away as soon as I found out that they lost a small little amount of interest to continue spending time around me? Why do I close myself out as soon as I feel a little coldness between me and other people? Is it the fear of rejection? The fear of being abandoned and the fear of being ignored? Is it that I rather be the person who calls it off rather than being called off? Does this pride matter that much? Will I able to bring this together again if I really put in effort to keep things the way they were or get better solutions other than cutting off all relationships? I don't know and I will not know until I really get rid of this habit of mine. It seems that people can come and be my friends and leave without considering how I would feel because I can act like I feel nothing when they leave and ever ready to smile to them when they are back. I make it look as if it doesn't matter at all. But deep inside me, I hate it. But just because I want to appear tough, I fake myself. I even help out without any condition. It makes people feel that it is alright because I will still be there and ever ready to help anyway. Trust me, I lent money to people and people just take them for granted and forget it. And I hate to ask back money because when money is in the conversation, you just stop talking. But please, don't come to me to borrow money after you read this alright? =) But to my close close friends, no, I don't ask money back not because I am shy or afraid to do so. I just feel like "belanja-ing" you.

well, I suppose Wei Wei is not interested in this post because its so serious, it can work as sleeping pills without any prescription or addiction or side-effect whatsoever.

ps: Shan Shan..Don't think too much. I can still tell you all of these that I've mentioned never happen before. Just like how you never experienced any of those you mentioned in your blog. Cool ye? XD