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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Reality sets in

Lots of work.
Lots of responsibilities.
Lots of deadlines.
Lots of pressure.
Lots of energy drawn out.

Even I couldn't take it anymore.

Could be PMS, could be lil mood swings, could be stress, could be anything really. Maybe just emo season?

But I think I need a good cry. At least now, today. I will be okay tomorrow. I'm only emo in my room. In person, I'm usually quite chirpy and noisy and bubbly. Maybe that's why Grandma Eu Pui once told me 'It's okay to be not okay'. I've always wanted to show that I am okay because I hate people asking me why I am not okay. I don't like to appear weak. I want people to think that I can do fine even if I do it alone.

Maybe I do need to stop pretending. I do need to stop putting up a tough face. Like even the clouds are going to fall on me, I can still be okay.

If I am not okay in front of you, that's because I decided that I can be not okay in front of you and you are not going to judge me. I will really appreciate it if you don't ask me about this. =) I just need a space to vent out my emptiness.


Maybe I am not as okay as I pretend to be.

When I smile, maybe I was just trying to avoid questions.

ps: It might be workload. It's never fun to look at my to-do list.


reddaisie said...

u always ok meh??
to me u are always not ok..
always so easily irritated..

always scold me

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