I thought it'll be easy

but it's worst.

The decision was not a mistake. But to have people avoiding you or staying away from you makes me wonder if I made that decision in a haste. I admit it's also how I carry myself but if everyone is going to say, "Don't want to be lamp post" at the end of the day, the only thing I can do is to hang out with the one person who won't say this to me.

I actually felt lonely. I don't know if it's right to feel this way but I actually feel like a lousy person, feel crappy and I at times hate myself when they say that.

I am a lousy friend.